Medical slang, courtesy of the NHS.

By no small coincidence, I begin my new job with the American Society of Clinical Oncology today. This BMJ article from 2003 is about how younger doctors were being told not to use medical slang in patient progress reports and treatment notes.

Love "cheerioma."

Medical slang at a glance

Assmosis: Promotion by "kissing ass"

Bash cash: Money paid for completing accident forms in emergency departments

Betty: Someone with diabetes

Cheerioma: Patient with a highly aggressive, malignant tumour

CLL: Chronic low life

Coffin dodger: Elderly patient

Departure lounge: Geriatric ward

Digging for worms: Varicose vein surgery

Flower sign: Fresh flowers at the bedside, implying that the patient has a supportive family

Freud squad: Psychiatrists

Gassers: Anaesthetists

GPO: Good for parts only

Guessing tube: Stethoscope

House red: Blood

LOBNH: Lights on but nobody home

Oligoneuronal: Of low intellect

Pest control: Term applied to psychiatrists by casualty officers

PFO: Pissed, fell over

PRATFO: Patient reassured and told to "go away"

Removal men: Department of care of elderly people

Rose cottage: Mortuary

Rule of five: If more than five orifices are obscured by plastic tubing, the patient's condition is deemed critical

Slashers: General surgeons

Treat 'n' street: Emergency department's term for quick patient turnaround